Bright Lights, Big Worry?
Last month, my book, Free From the Cage and I had the honor to be featured on the prestigious NASDAQ billboard in New York City. In an interesting (and terrifying!) turn of events, traveling from the hotel to meet my speaking group and the photographer documenting this experience in Times Square, I received a text message from a number I didn’t know in a language I didn’t understand. The only words I knew in the message were “Nick’s Mom”. My youngest son, Nick was backpacking in Asia at the time so this was extremely alarming. I tried to call his number, to no avail.
Panic set in.
The cab dropped my husband and I off at the meeting point, where I was not only connecting with my group, but actually meeting in person for the first time. We were coming from different states and even countries to have our book or message up in lights for just a few short moments. I was trying to remember the directions I was given for how to pose for the photos, as it was quite literally a matter of seconds that each person’s image would be highlighted, cycling through a few times.
As we lined up in the order our picture would appear, I was continuing to call the number that messaged me, as well as my son for about the twentieth time. My husband took over calling during my few moments when the billboard was up. They snapped the photos, and I quickly said goodbye. The entire experience was a blur. I’m not sure how I made it through without crying, it was a case of emotional stuffing at its finest.
We resumed making calls in the cab rushing back to the hotel in the hopes to be able to change our train time to get home as soon as possible; not that there was anything we could do from home that we weren’t already doing, which included calling the department of state, as well as the embassy in the country he was in. At this point I was actually beginning to worry that he had been kidnapped. My brain started going crazy!
Eventually we connected with the person who had initially texted me and they turned out to be trying to help. Her friend was the wife of a police officer in Mongolia, and since the officer didn’t speak English he had his wife contact her friend in the US to try and reach me. The representative at the embassy informed me that Nick was at the police station because his phone had been stolen. Finally there were some answers, and a giant exhale for me!
It was a whole lot of confusion, but for that period of time when I didn’t have answers, I believed something terrible had happened, and I’ll forever remember my billboard moment as an experience with two extremes…Excitement and terror.
Both of those emotions activate the brain and the sympathetic nervous system in the same way. While seeing my book on a billboard in one of the greatest cities in the world was joy inducing, that shifted quickly when I couldn’t reach my son. Have you ever had an experience with such extreme and quickly shifting feelings?
When I shared this story with Nick later, he laughed saying how I overreacted (admittedly I felt like I was in a movie where every second counted and that I envisioned him being held for ransom or worse). I couldn’t help but worry, but I definitely let the story in my head get away from me.
Holding in the tears and worry for the few minutes I had to keep it together was a huge challenge. What a challenge it can be for people holding in difficult emotions day in and day out. Sometimes we just have to “get through” something in the moment, but eventually we need to address the feelings so we can release the emotional energy from our system. It’s important to acknowledge all of our feelings so we can find peace and freedom within. I had my moment up in lights, but the greatest moment that day was the eventual phone call when I heard my son’s voice and knew he was ok.